Just Words II WORD AS ART 2016
Just Words Volume II
WORD AS ART
Danger And Truth
Deciding To Live
She Kept Silent
Silent Girl
Communion Veils
I Left Early
RAINbow Girls
Are You Doing Your Work?
The Rain, the Sea, and Ninoy
Empty & Willing
In The Sky
Danger and Truth
Writing from the place
of truth and experience
is fraught with danger…
it is the hardest thing to do,
to write truthfully,
openly
without hesitation
or fear.
I understand her fear
of transforming
that silence into
language and action.
It is a risk.
To love is to risk,
to reveal is to risk,
to tell the truth is to risk
when the truth has been hidden
for years
and silenced in your life.
in my life
that silence continues
inside the maze of my life
after many years of living,
and writing
and slowly revealing
the pain is gone
from the sting
of inequality
and misunderstanding
and as the years roll on
there is a softening
of the edges of resentment
that lead the artist to other concerns
no longer bogged down
by the frivolities
of the difficulties
of modern life,
but rather searching
out there
for the source
of inspiration and truth
Always seeking the muse
Deciding To Live
There have been many “Becoming-Rain” moments in
my life that could be referred to as “deciding to live”
moments.
My first memory as a very small child was noticing
the first bud on a tree branch
in the very early Spring in the backyard.
It is an indelible memory that triggers
each year after the winter solstice.
I think I decided that I was living and knew that I
was a part of something bigger than myself.
I began to live when I first saw the lights
of a theatrical stage, and danced my first ballet.
I decided to live when dance
became my language as a young girl.
I began to live when I stepped on an airplane
at the ripe age of 18 years old and headed out west in
the middle of my senior year of high school.
I stepped away from a male dominated family, and
culture, and began the journey
I am still traveling today.
I decided to live when I remained there, and in the
end, attended University of California, Berkeley;
priceless years, most of the great artists and scholars
I studied with have passed on, but they were some
of the ground breakers in Modern Art.
I began to live when I stood up for the rights of the
Filipino people under the dictatorship of Marcos…
as an ex-peace corps volunteer using my voice to
speak through my music…
People Power followed that movement…
I began to live when I walked into
the studio of Peter Voulkos,
His energy and huge personality filling my senses
with the possibility of Art as a life…
And I decided to live as an artist in the darkened
art history auditoriums of the great art historian
Peter Seltz, wild haired and magical he transformed
my vision of how it was possible to transform
the world through art.
I decided to live when I committed my life to Art,
through teaching, through creating, by exploring
many mediums, and continuing in the search for
meaning in my art making, whatever the medium.
I decided to live, when I gave Bob Dylan a painting,
and he thanked me from the stage. I bought a guitar
and began my musical journey.
I decided to live when I took the stage for the first
time at The Earl of Old Town in Chicago and became
Patti Rain.
I decided to live when poetry saved me on the streets
of New York, and my song writing gave me my voice.
I decided to live when I married Rio.
I decide to live when we committed to the Wicker
Park house and created a beautiful home
out of rubble.
I decided to live when I took on two adopted
children, both special needs amidst teaching
1200 kids a year
I decided to live when I retired from CPS, and chose
to focus on my Art.
I decided to live when I accepted the LRMFA
program’s invitation…
I keep on Living ….through the pain, and the joys,
and the memories of where my art began, in the
studios of the bay area artists…I continue to make the
decision to live.
Making the decision to live for me,
happens each time I make the choice that will
allow me to continue to grow as an artist. There is
always the dilemma of time and place,
there is never enough time. But when
deciding to live you accept the inevitable that time
requires and try to use and bend time.
The artist clock is an eternal and internal clock
connected to nature and the seasons, connected to
the pulse of humanity, each time we choose to live,
we expand our possibilities as humans
and the possibilities of what
we can contribute to the other
humans on the planet.
Deciding to Live is a decision to BE.
She Kept Silent
the first memories are always of Spring
the buds discovered on a crab apple tree
the sun blazing
warm winds blowing
I have memories of white clouds of laundry
smelling fresh from a day
hanging in the wind
in the sunshine
secure and welcoming
on a warm spring night
as the air turns cool
mother in the garden planting the annuals
that will grace the pathway all summer and fall
sounds of children laughing filter in
through the screen on my window
summer is coming
you can hear it in the way the birds sing
in the early morning, anxious for us all to wake up and come outside
as I got older, and we moved again, for the third time
summers were full of swim classes and picnics,
dance lessons and recitals
family parties
vacations
summer camp
late nights at the roller rink
making friends with the city boys
fast and naughty
summer camp became the refuge
at last away from home at the age of 10
4 boys in the house and one girl
made for a pretty lonely adolescence
busy raising the three youngest boys
mother left me to fend off the older brother
and cousin
she managed to bury that night
deep inside her psyche
in order to survive
she kept silent
Silent Girl
Why are you silent girl?
Why do I see you cry?
What words do you swallow up inside?
What secrets can’t you share?
Can I help you find your voice…?
Speak it out
Tell it loud
Tell it clear
Tell it loud and clear
Speak that truth for the world to hear
Tell the world now
And quiet those fears
I know the fear of telling just a little too much
The way their face changes
when they learn about your history
“You should write a book”
They say
How many lifetimes have you lived?
They say
I put the words on the paper,
let the fingers dance and sing across the page
I tell the inner voice it’s your turn,
come out now and have a word
Meet the other thoughts that are
dancing around inside my head.
Communion Veils
White lace veiled girls
Like plastic dolls dressed up and made for pearls
White stockings
candy frosting
sneak a taste
before the party
gazing in the mirrors
White lace veiled girls
Crown the Queen of heaven
With her wreath of roses red
We clung to the hope that we would be the one
To bring the flowers and place them on her head
White lace dressed girls processing in a line
White rosary beads hanging down
White lace anklets slip onto the feet of
White lace veiled girls
I Left Early
The waiting for the airplane to land
Standing at the airport
Waiting
Waiting
From where is coming from?
He was always traveling somewhere
A CBS Soundman
He instilled in me a sense of wanderlust
That eventually led me around the world
I left early
I escaped
Escaping the danger of getting trapped into the
”Mall Culture”
It was the Midwest
The center of the country
Post WWII American suburbs
God I detested it there
As soon as I could I was in the city
My favorite thing was the brick streets in Old Town
And the horse and carriages that ran
back and forth around the city
Grabbing the train and heading
to the lights of the big city
That Girl
The Civic Opera House
Crosby Stills and Nash
Woodstock Summer
And soon I would leave
Run from the misunderstanding
I learned later on in life what the problem was
I left early
Rainbow Girls
I saw her walking the street one day
Not too long ago
One of my Rainbow Girls
My! My! Did she grow!
Black Tortoise shell glasses
Camouflage Converse Shoe
Mini Skirt
And a T-Shirt that says;
“Fuck You”
She’s my Silver Girl
Hard Life
Strong
Brilliant
But the sunshine yellow girl
That sunshine yellow girl
Now we got the purple girl
She was all smiles and curls
Big Ambitions
Wanted to see the world
Mmmmmm
Hiding her identity
From the authority
My purple girl…
She came from south of the border town…
She was hidin’ in my classroom
She brightened up my day
My Purple Girl
But that yellow sunshine
That Sunshine Girl
mmmmmmmm-
She changed my….
Pure As a Goddess
Dressed in White
Heavy laden with Pearls and Jewels
On her wedding night
So brave and so beautiful
And poor as can be
For the rest of her life,
My Pakistani White girl,
She gonna live in luxury
She was determined never to live poor
Since she was a little girl…
And sister RED
That Pakistani Twin
With the smile that goes ear to ear
And a heart that beats deep within
Living in the shadow of the Goddess
Hard to a twin
These two little rays of sunshine
Mmmmmm
That brought us....JOY
But that Sunshine Yellow Girl
My Sunshine Yellow Girl
Mmmm …She changed my world
Mmmmmmmmmmm
And that Blue Girl
That Bosnian beauty
She got a story to tell
Victimized as a child…
It took her a little longer to grow
But she went off on her own
That Blue Girl
So many children in her family
And her Daddy
Man he kept her down
(I would counsel her about that)
She finally released herself
A teacher
My Blue Girl is a teacher
That silver girl is a dancer
My white girl
she lives in the medical land of the pharmacy
she educated herself
And now she’s living in luxury
With her mmmmmmmMan……
Who loves her so
But that Sunshine Girl
That sunshine Girl
From Mexico…
Mmmmm
Since she was a child
She changed me everyday day
She listens
To every word
And yes she did learn
Sunshine girl
She’s in the Art world……….
Yeah
These are my Rainbow Girls
But they changed my world
And the days go by
The student becomes the teacher
The teacher becomes the student
The child becomes the mother
The mother becomes the child
My Rainbow Girls
They’ll be here for …………….
……………………………….…awhile
They live here in my heart………..
Are You Doing Your Work?
I read these words and
I challenge my silence.
What are the words you do not yet have?
Perhaps for some of you here today,
I am the face of your fears
Fear and misunderstanding was a common mantel
we all wore in my generation
I read these words and I challenge my silence,
I am a warrior woman artist
You look at me with fear because
I am a white warrior woman
I am a white, heterosexual, married, white warrior woman
on the other side…a full life lived…now focused on and facing my own work
Having given a third of my life
to the teaching of art
to the raising of children
to the building of my home
my husband’s career
his injury
his illness
I now make art again
with great joy and abandon.
I am not bound to shock
or awe you with my beliefs,
but rather to tempt you
into my world
not of popular culture
or gender politics,
to experience the way
art can transform lives,
teaching art,
making music,
through painting,
By living a life well lived,
as the Artist.
Yes,
I am doing my work.
“Light A Fire” 2016
The Rain, The Sea, and Ninoy
She took everything she could carry when she left Japan
She didn’t know where she would find it
But she knew where she was going
On her way back to the islands
It had been a rich experience living in Japan
Lots of experiences
Too many to think about
She keeps flashing on the image of Junji
Yakusa Boyfriend
Ebisuya
She said good bye
Without emotion
She had become very Japanese after four years
Living outside Kobe
In a small fishing village
She reached the islands
Came looking for a some brand new music
Something was out there
She could feel it drawing her there
This country and the people had become part of her
It was hot in Manila
Everyday it was hot
She was still living in Japan when he was killed
He was returning home
He was going to run for President
Democracy would return at long last
They really did believe in our democracy
The people embraced our values
They were thankful to us for saving them
She read about it one morning in Suma-ku
He was gunned down as he was leaving the plane
By some lone gunman
The gunman was seen in all the newspapers
Laying on the tarmac
Laying in the hot sun
For 12 hours
No one moved the body
But she knows that is not the truth
She was her way back to the island
He was walking down her dream path
When she saw him walking by
No glance
No look
He walked on
She took her dreams
Down to sea
And she dove in to the water
Her skin turned to bronze
Her hair turned golden blond
But he walked on
She saw his silhouette
As he sat beside the cave
His flute carried his feelings on the wind
And as his eyes secretly watched her
She took off all her covering
And she dove down
Into the sea of dreams
The girls began to gather around the fire
But still he avoided her
Until they told him of her music
Then the pain began
She watched his defenses grow
But on that first night
After the moon was full
They walked on down along the sea
They both lacked the strength
To leave it alone
And in their hearts
They pledged to all the stars above
That the music was their way
Of turning all that love on
They dove down
Into the sea of dreams
She brought the music back to the city
A Country Cried
When Ninoy Died
He was just trying
To right what was wrong
Put his people back on track
To where they once belonged
To where they once belonged
But they wouldn’t accept the changes
So they quickly rearranged it
When they killed this man
They thought it would
Be over
And done
Oh what a shame
Tell me brother
Who’s to blame?
A Country Cried
When Ninoy died
The recording was done in a studio in Manila
Upstairs the producer was meeting with the
Chief justices
Of the Supreme Court
To discuss the truth
Around Ninoy’s death
He would prove
That it was not Galman
Who shot Ninoy
But rather Galman
Had been killed the night before
And placed
In a refrigerated truck
Overnight
Then he was thrown out
Onto the tarmac
Frozen son
Who killed Ninoy?
For 12 hours Galman lay there
After Ninoy’s death
12 hours
To allow him
To thaw out
It was surreal
All of it
The song was banned on government radio
But they played it on opposition radio
She had to leave the country
She was passionate
About his death
About the people
About the fact that
We were about to send
$100,000,000
In military aid
To Ninoy’s country
She came back to her country
Everybody looked at her
Like she had already died
No one wanted to listen
She heard they were going to try and defeat him
So many candidates running
It was a circus
And in the end
It was Ninoy’s wife
Who was elected
President
People Power!
Empty & Willin’
The SYMPTOMS were evident
In the Arts, In the Political Structure,
the church, and the Family
It was the calm before the storm
The CRISIS before the TRANSFORMATION
of an entire civilization
Doomsday speakers had their say
There is always a place in this world for the negative
It was the ones who thought positively
They were the TARGET!
To THEM we represented the PAST
The CONFRONTATION between
the YOUNG and the OLD
FREEDOM and CONFORMITY
TRUTH and DECEPTION
But even as we grew, and became
more a part of the system
They didn’t see us for who we really were
If they had listened to the voices in the sky
who had inspired our minds
PERHAPS we would have
spared the world such pain
But our world was set up
From the START our PLANET was involved in a
CONSPIRACY in HEAVEN
That SHE took no part in
THAT WAS THE ANGEL’S BATTLE!
Those were Cosmic consequences that the planet
had grown up with
EMPTY & WILLIN’
In The Sky
This round sphere spinning
Traveling around the great sun
Older than we realize
Hiding truths yet be revealed
In this time of man
The long history of earth
So Many stories and legends
Each one a part of the truth
Revealed over centuries
Millenniums
We think we know the story
We only know parts of the story
We have forgotten
Or lost
Most of the truth…
Buried and forgotten
Under the sands
Hidden from view
Lay the history of our planet
Under the sea
A world still so deep
Unknown to us
The hidden caves
Over time we discover
Bits and pieces of Ancient Texts
Cracked and dried out skulls
Traces of lives lived and lost to time
Mummies that reveal strangely shaped heads
And the Art
Everywhere
In every culture
Revealing something…
Out there
In the Sky